Most kids move out of their childhood homes when they reach adulthood. You, as a parent, may have felt solemn when your grown child was already doing the same. After all, moving acts as a marker for a new chapter in their life. You learn to live with it. Until, surprise! They make their way back to you.
Having a boomerang child can be endearing at first, but after some time, you'll most likely find it aggravating. To prevent your relationship with your kid from deteriorating, you need to lay down some ground rules. Here are the things you should discuss with your adult child when they return home.
An important thing to set up upon your child’s arrival is a timeline. While you may feel overjoyed at the prospect of having them stay at home, you also have to nudge them back to properly living an adult life.
Ask them about their plans for the future. The duration of their stay often depends on their circumstances. A month, two, or maybe even six or a year — it is dictated by the reason behind their stay. If they only need temporary lodging until they find a new place, you may be able to help them find one that’s within their budget.
If it has to do with losing their job, though, let them wallow for a bit before encouraging them to explore their options in terms of careers. You can dote on them while also reminding them of their responsibility to themselves.
Contributions to the Household
Unlike when they were younger, your adult child is no longer completely dependent on you to survive. So, you need to be firm about how they can help around the home. This can be accomplished in a number of ways, one of which is through financial aid.
If they aren’t hurting for money, it’s smart to ask them for grocery allowance or payment for utilities. That's a reasonable demand, considering they eat and use the facilities at home.
If money isn’t a logical choice, include them in the chore wheel. Make it clear that you expect them to do their part. If they leave any mess in the living room, say, on the carpet, ask them to clean it up or look for a professional carpet cleaner in Atlanta. Or, have them cook meals every other day. Don't let them freeload off you.
Your child is no longer an actual child. They should be capable of handling responsibilities in the household.
It's crucial for you to explicitly state how you expect your child to act in your home. This applies to their attitude towards completing chores and having guests over. If unspoken rules don’t work well, leave tiny reminders in the form of notes. Jot down when they’re allowed to have people over, and what kind of behavior you expect from both your child and their visitors.
When it comes to chores and the cleanliness of the household, be firm on what you want them to do. They’re adults, and should act as much. You don’t have to pick up after them if they’re being messy.
Setting clear boundaries is critical in these moments. It’s true that they’re your kid and you may want to coddle them in trying times. Still, they’re adults and should act that way. The existence of rules to follow will likely result in very little conflict occurring. You and your spouse, alongside your child, will be better for it throughout the duration of their stay.