When your kids are still young, it is hard to picture them going through tough times. As a mother, you strive to give them a life free of issues and insecurities and any other thing that could hurt them.
While this is ideal, the unfortunate reality is that you can’t shield your kids from problems forever. As they continue to grow and gain life experience, they also encounter more challenges that can hurt them, but these challenges also have the potential to make them stronger.
Your role as a mother is not to remove any and every obstacle from their path. That just makes them spoiled! The best you can do is to open your door, help them understand the troubles that come with growing up, and guide them towards the right path.
How do you do this without making them fearful of the future? We have a few tips for you.
1. Let Them Ask the Difficult Questions
They may be young, but your kids are much more observant than you think. When you or other members of your family are facing issues, they are bound to figure out that something is wrong.
When they ask questions about a problematic family member or other issues, don’t shy away from the topic. Listen to their questions and ask them further to get a full understanding of where they are coming from.
When you respond, don’t provide too many details so that you don’t confuse them. For instance, if you have a family member who has recently been detained for an offense, you can briefly mention why they are detained and that they will be back home soon. Additional details about the events and your consultation with a bail bond agent will be understood by your young child if you use simple terms.
If it is an emotional matter, don’t hesitate to tell your child this, either. Tell them that the topic is not easy to discuss instead of pretending you have the right answers all the time. But if you are comfortable, ask them follow-up questions to check if there are aspects that they still need more explanations for.
2. Encourage Them to Pursue Healthy Interests
One way to keep your kids from going with the wrong crowd and adopting unhealthy habits is to introduce them to extracurricular activities. First, pay attention to what your child seems to enjoy doing at home. Are they more of a performer or do they prefer to create things quietly on their own? Do they seem to enjoy physical activities?
Encourage your child according to what their talents and inclinations are. You can let them take lessons to hone their natural talents, for instance. Also, make sure they have the proper tools for pursuing this interest, such as art supplies for painting or equipment for their basketball practices.
These kinds of activities bring them out of their comfort zones and challenge them, but also act as healthy outlets for their feelings and frustrations.
3. Spend Time with Them
Forcing “deep” conversations hardly ever gets you the results you want. Most of the time, it just makes you sound like you’re prying into your child’s life. Remember that sometimes, the best way to show them that they can talk to you whenever they need to is to simply spend time with them.
It doesn’t always have to be serious. Just set aside a day to bond with them over something they enjoy! For instance, have a movie marathon of their favorite Disney films or their favorite anime. You can even join them play video games and watch them laugh at you struggling with the controls.
Casual bonding moments matter more than you may think they do!
4. Be Honest with Them
One of the hardest things to do as a mother is to be vulnerable in front of your child, but it can also be one of the most helpful things you can do for them. Of course, when they are still young, the extent of your honesty has limits, but don’t lie to them about real life matters.
For example, when helping them with homework, don’t tell them that a good child would never have a hard time accomplishing homework on time. This puts unnecessary pressure on them. Remember your own childhood and empathize—homework is not always easy to do, especially now that your kids are doing school online.
Your honesty helps them understand that the road to growing up is not that simple, but it’s manageable because you are there for them. When your little kids know that they can run to you for their little boo-boos, they will remember that when their worries become bigger.